Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Warning

Engagement rings should come with warning labels.  I imagine mine would read something like:  WARNING: The proposal you are about to make will cause excessive giddiness, temporary loss of sanity, frequent outbursts of sighing and loss of sleep.  When ring is added to proposal, be prepared for day dreaming, staring off into the distance and general loss of all focus on reality.  Then be prepared for the freak out.
The “freak out” sneaks up on you.  You don’t expect it, when all of a sudden you find yourself freaking out.  I’m engaged.  I’m going to get married.  Freak out.  I don’t know how else to describe it. 
It’s not a bad freak out, this is something I really want and have wanted with Freeman for a long time.  But the fact, the reality, the ring, brings the situation home in a different way.  Yes I will spend the rest of my life with this person.  I don’t just want to, I will.  And he feels the same way.  Wow. 
Of course, after the proposal come all the questions.  When, where, how, who.  At least we have the “what” covered.  It’s a wedding.  As for the other questions…well…I have no clue.  I don’t even know where to begin with the planning process.  Truth is, I never thought about it.  I don’t know that I ever really believed I would be getting married.  Hoped, yes, dreamed, yes, planned?  No. 
Truth is I am putting all of that off, at least for a week.  This week I will enjoy telling everyone, showing off the beautiful ring and soaking up the attention.  I never thought it would be like this, the attention is outrageous.  And I am amazed how happy people are for me.  For me. 
More than anything though, I feel loved.  I feel lucky that I have someone in my life like my fiancé.  Someone who has chosen me as much as I have chosen them.  Someone I can turn to at any point, who will and has supported me, who wants me to be successful. 
Damn.  I wasn’t going to get sappy.  I guess I should have put that in the warning label “situation will lead to sappiness.”