Monday, July 17, 2006

Taking it Home

I’ve been watching too much TLC, specifically the “Take Home Chef” with cute Curtis Stone.  The premise is this, he walks into a grocery store, find a person shopping for groceries and asks them if they are cooking a meal for someone that night.  Then he offers to go home with them and cook a gourmet meal. 
After watching too many episodes, I decided I could be my own take home chef and cook a great meal for someone.  Someone being F and his friend who just happened to call that day.  I decided on a three course meal, something pretty simple but delicious looking.
I trundled off to the grocery stored armed with a rather long list of ingredients needed to fulfill my chef dreams.  I spent 90 minutes at the store trying to find what I needed.  Finding almost everything and substituting some other things, I headed home to start my cooking adventure. 
I started off with the Braised Bison.  Only my grocery store doesn’t have Bison, so I used Beef instead.  I started chopping and slicing and dicing and searing and melting and tada!  I had some stew like mixture that I put in the oven to cook for 4 hours.  The stew was my main course, but would take the longest to cook.  So, after finishing that off I started on the appetizer.
(As a side note, I decided to take a page from the chef book.  I always see chefs enjoying a nice glass of wine while they are cooking.  I had to use wine in the stew stuff I made, so I poured a glass for myself, and drank it.)
On to the appetizer!  Stuffed artichokes.  I’d never worked with artichokes before and have heard that they are difficult, but it looked easy on the show so I thought, what the heck?  I’ll give it a whirl.  I got my artichokes out and started chopping.  I chopped, well sawed, off the tops like the instructions stated and then found myself facing off with the mysterious choke.  Hmmm.  There I am, standing in the kitchen with my spoon, ready to do battle.  I’m holding the artichoke, searching for the mysterious hairs that I am supposed to be removing.  I know they are somewhere in the middle, so I started poking away with my spoon.  It wasn’t working – I couldn’t seem to find the stupid hairs.  I set the artichoke down and drank some more wine, thinking ‘how hard can this be?’ I pick up a knife and attempt to cut the choke out – or at least cut until I find the hairs.  I dig around with the knife for awhile, drink some more wine and then Jackpot!  I’ve got hairs!  Woohoo!  I think, I am on my way!  I have a celebratory half glass of wine to congratulate myself.  Then I get back to digging.  And digging.  And digging.  I think I’ve got it all out of the first one and look at the second artichoke. 
I think to myself, well I have one down, I know what I am looking for this time, the second one should be easier.  I drink a little wine to fortify myself for the battle ahead and start sawing away at the top.  This artichoke is significantly different than the first.  For one thing, I can’t seem to find the choke.  I know it’s there, they all have them, but I can’t find it.  After 5 or 10 minutes of digging, I finally take out my vegetable peeler and stab it into the center of the vegetable.  I swirl it around and then pop it out sideways, using a digging motion.  Jackpot!  The digging worked, I am greeted by lots of little hairs!  Woohoo!  I drink a little more wine, thinking I am on my way again. 
Half an hour later I have cleaned the artichokes, dug everything I can possibly dig out of the centers and put them in acidulated water (which I had to look up, why couldn’t they just say lemon water?)
At this point I get the stuffing ready for the little buggers.  F’s friend calls, wondering if we need anything from the store.  I glance over at the bottle of wine we were supposed to have with dinner, realize I have drunk almost all of it, and order another bottle.  We should have plenty for dinner.
I get the artichokes stuffed and sit down on the couch with a glass of wine.  I have half an hour or so before I have to start on the next course.  While waiting I watch Take Home Chef.  Feeling recharged, and drunk, I head back to the kitchen to make some mini potatoes with sour cream and chives to go with the stew stuff.  The artichokes are cooking away and smelling wonderful.  I follow the directions, get the potatoes in to cook and serve up the artichokes.  First course done!  I set the table, pour a little wine for everyone and call the guys into eat.
I have to say the artichokes turned out really nicely.  At least the stuffing did.  I’m not sure what part of the actual artichoke you are supposed to eat.  I have a feeling I may have dug that part out…but the stuffing was delicious.
On to the stew!  I pour a little more wine, and pull the stew out of the oven.  I pulled the potatoes out as well.  I cut the little crosses in them, but forget to let them cool, and attempt to push the centers out.  It doesn’t work.  Instead I burn my fingers on potatoes that aren’t done yet, but I don’t know they aren’t done.  Giving up on the pushing part, I put the sour cream and chives on the table and served up the stew.  The guys told me how good the stew was (though it needed salt) and attempted to eat the potatoes (though they weren’t done yet) and overall told me that it was a great meal.  I had another glass of wine. 
I then re-entered the kitchen to prepare dessert.  After 3/4 of a bottle of wine I was feeling more confident and ready to make Apple and Vanilla Spring Rolls with Plain Yogurt.  This was the best part of the entire meal.  Really.  Though I didn’t have a pastry brush to get the butter on, I did use a paint brush and that seemed to work okay.  I hadn’t used the paint brush for painting, so no toxic stuff in the food.  I popped them in the oven, finished the bottle of wine and waited.  They were delicious.  Something I will definitely make again. 
Two bottles of wine later, the meal was finished.  F, his friend and I were all stuffed.  I’m declaring my experiment a success and not planning another one any time soon!
Thanks TLC! (Although next time I might just wait for Curtis to come to me...)