Monday, October 04, 2004
Saturday Night at the
Saturday Night at the Jolly Roger Taproom...Ah, adventures in beer drinking. Not just any beer drinking though, beer drinking in Ballard. There is a little local taproom just down the street from where I live. They serve some really good beer there. Beer that I can appreciate and enjoy. They also have really good food, not JUST bar food, but other entrees that are pretty incredible considering it's a taproom. Ballard is kind of like that though. There is good food to be found.
Along with the good food, beer and closeness, Jolly Roger's serves up something that not every bar can, good entertainment. I'm not talking live music, kareoke, or stand comedy. I am talking Local Color. And Jolly's has that in spades.
We (because a night at Jolly's wouldn't really be complete without Freeman) started the night by walking to the taproom. It's important to note that we DO NOT drive when we are drinking. Driving drunk is bad. Okay, plug over...back to the story.
Upon entering the taproom, we thought it was going to be a somewhat quiet night. The place wasn't overly crowded, there were seats available at the bar. We sat down, placed our order and started to talk to those around us. Jim & Dave were both there. Jim & Dave are twins. They both work at the bar. Jim is the eldest by 2 minutes. Jim must have worked earlier in the day as he was having a beer when we arrived. Dave was just getting off, leaving the other bar tender, Dave, to handle the night crowd on his own. Not long after we arrived, Jim and his friend left thus freeing up two barstools next to me.
Interesting couple #1:
I look over to see a woman kneeling on a barstool attempting to turn down the speed on the overhead fan.
Freeman: Getting chilly for you?
Woman: I felt like I was at a shooting range, am I hot? Am I cold? Where's the target?
Interesting couple #2:
This couple chose to sit next to me, which was fine, the more the merrier. Except that this couple was not merry. The woman had the bitchiest look on her face I have ever seen. She proceeded to bitch constantly throughout their stay at the bar. The man was not much better.
After this couple's arrival a fairly large party of 6 arrived and sat directly behind them. The couple proceeded to bitch about the "cackling witch" that was sitting at the table. The couple decided to order some Lil' Jolly Royals (Yummy burgers with cheese & onions) they then argued about what sauce to get. He didn't want the Strawberry-Rhubard BBQ, they couldn't order the Habenero (it's REALLY hot) and they couldn't seem to figure out what to do. Dave made the decision for them and placed their order. When it arrived, with the Staw-rhubard BBQ sauce the man, who flatly refused to order the BBQ sauce, proceeded to eat all of it. The woman also requested extra sauce for her Lil' Jollies and proceeded to eat all her food before the sauce arrived. They were an interesting couple.
Bob & Bob:
After the angry couple left, a couple of old guys walked in. And I do mean old. They could have given my grandfather a run for his money. They both had canes and thick glasses. It was apparent that this was not their first stop on their night out. They came in and headed for the chairs next to me. They proceeded to knock one chair over and then stumble around till a guy from the large party sitting next to them reached out to help. The guy righted the chair and helped the old guys into their chairs. One of the buys then turned to me to introduce himself to me. I think his name was Bill and his buddy was Paul.
Bill proceeded to tell me all kinds of things I never wanted to know. I learned all about the "shoo shoo" dance and how Paul once danced it on a bar with no shoes and socks on. Paul apparently couldn't talk and grunted in agreement to what Bill was saying. Bill also told me how he could no longer do the shoo shoo dance as he has had several surgeries where they have filed down the bones in his feet and now he walks on his heels.
They kept asking where to go next, what was the next closest bar. Freeman and I gave then directions to the Bit Saloon, but we soon found out that they could no longer go there. I'm not exactly sure WHY they couldn't go there, something about a blonde with big hair and lots of mean things said on both sides. Huh.
Meanwhile, every couple of minutes Bill would pull a pack of Lucky Strikes from his pocket and try to light up. I continually told him that there was no smoking. He would put it away, only to reach for it a couple minutes later. What cracked me up about this particular habit was the fact that he would pull out a cigarette from the packet, when I told him he couldn't smoke he would put the cigarette into another pocket. He must wonder the next morning why his pack was empty, but various pockets in his coat and pants were full of cigarettes...
Whenever Bill would make a point, he would look over at Paul for confirmation. Paul was oblivious to just about everything and would simply hold up a hand and give a drunken sign of "Okay" for agreement. Then he would turn back to his beer or stare out at people at the bar.
Bill then started to serenade me.
Not long before they arrived, we had decided it was about time for us to leave. Dave was a little slow in getting us the bill, which isn't an issue, we are rarely in a hurry. As soon as Bill started singing, I stood up to go to the restroom. Thankfully, when I got back, the bill had arrived and we could leave. I didn't want to sit and be sung to... for one I couldn't understand, and for two I wasn't feeling overly polite.
As we left, we went to warn Dave about Bill's urge to smoke. He informed us that they were regulars and he wasn't aware what their real names were, but they called them Bob & Bob.
All in all it was a successful night at the Jolly Roger taproom, where the local color always comes to visit and entertain...
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As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
