Thursday, November 08, 2007

Might have Overdone It…

I started weightlifting at the gym again.  I seem to go through stages where all I want is cardio, and then I switch it up and add the weights back in again.
I might have overdone the arms last night.  I knew I was lifting pretty heavily – but I wasn’t expecting the pain that I am in today!  Instead of being mildly sore, it seems that any movement of my arms causes pain.  What worse is the feeling of overall weakness…I was holding the door for a woman in a wheelchair and almost lost my hold on the door! 
I went to the recital for my performance class last night.  I didn’t perform; I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I feel as though I am struggling a bit with who I have been and what I really want to be.  I’m stuck in-between right now and trying to figure out which battle I want to fight first.  These battles being with myself, not outside.  I feel as though I am on the brink of so many things, I’m on the ledge and afraid to jump to see if I can fly. 
It’s the ‘ol “what if I fail?” issue.  What if I am a horrible dancer and fall and break my ankle?  What if I am NOT a good project manager and I do all these things to get certified and then end up being an executive assistant because I am not good enough? 
I’ve promised myself that I will start taking steps to perform.  I’ve signed up for another performance class, this one involved choreography and I think that might be easier for me.  It also involves dancing with candles, which I have always loved to watch. 
I’ve also promised that myself that I will take the PMP certification test before the end of the year.  That gives me 7 weeks.  I’ve got a lot of work to do…guess I had better get busy!