Monday, April 11, 2005

It’s been awhile.

Sometimes life really blows.  I try to maintain a positive attitude about things, try to keep my chin up, but sometimes life just sucks and there isn’t more to it than that. 
I know it’s been awhile since I last posted. 
Things have been happening, both good and bad and I needed time to absorb everything.  Sometimes I feel as though life is going to fast and I just need to step out for a bit. 
I didn’t make it into the writing program I was shooting for.  Which means I will not be going back to school in the fall.  I’m sure that it happened that way for a reason, but it was a hard letter to read.  A hard bit of information to absorb.  Frankly, it sucked rocks.  Big ones. 
I was really counting on school.  I was counting on it to fulfill something inside of me.  I’m not really sure what that something was, but now I will have to find another way to figure it out.  And school was the best answer I had.  Damn. 
In reality, I’m okay with it.  It might be that now really isn’t the right time for me.  I have a good feeling that things will be taking off at work, in which case I need to focus all of my energies there.  But still, it sucks to get the letter saying that you weren’t the cream of the crop, the top of the heap.  Grrrr. 
The new group at work has been very good so far.  They are good people and I am happy that they decided to include me.  They have already broached some really fantastic ideas for me – things I would really like to pursue.  Plus I am still working on the board report, a task that brings a lot of high level exposure with it.  It’s fun to see what the big dawgs think, and to know they are human just as I am.  That there is no smoke and mirrors to what they do. 
My grandparents also decided to make a trip up here from CO.  It was really nice to see them.  They remind me, in a completely different way, of where I came from and where I have been.  Sometimes I get so caught up in the present, in the future, that I forget to look back and give myself a little credit.  Not that life has been terrible, but it’s been life, and those of us who live it deserve a pat on the back for taking chances.  Sometimes we deserve pats for just getting out of bed in the morning. 
So – yeah – now I have to start planning again.  Start figuring out what I want to do, where I would like to go, and how I’m going to get there.  Time to figure out what Plan B looks like.