Sunday, November 19, 2006

I’m becoming my own cliché and I love it.

I’ve taken to hanging out in the same coffee shop every Sunday to get some writing done.  Normally I am good about bringing my headphones, but I’ve forgotten them today.  This affords me a new treat to the coffee shop “goings on.” There are several people who work in the shop, and I get the feeling they are on rotation, with different people working Sunday afternoons depending on the week. 
Today our normal barista was on her way out, as usual, when I got in.  She stuck around long enough to serve me, she appreciates my tipping habits, and ask how my weekend is going.  The second barista that is normally present is missing.  I assume he got the weekend off, perhaps due to the big Michigan/Ohio game yesterday.  In his place is a young perky blonde who flirts shamelessly with every man who enters the shop.  She’s less exciting with the women and almost chilly with the couples.  But the men, the men bring out a loud bubbling giggle; a flashy white smile and a comfortable lean on the counter in their direction as if to say she has all the time in the world for him and only him.  Who ever the him is at the moment. 
It’s honestly a bit distracting from the whole novel writing thing.  But I am a bit distracted in my mind anyway. 
I’ve always been one for the saying, “Nothing is constant but change” but things have been changing a lot lately.  It started with school; the class being the let down it has been is really discouraging.  I was hoping for more.  I was hoping to learn something that would help with the problems that I seem to be having.  The teacher hints at new things, hints at teaching us things that will help, but when she gets to that point I feel betrayed by the build up. 
Things have also been on the move at work.  We’ve had a bit of attrition and jobs are being juggled.  The man who has been tormenting me is taking on another job in addition to his current responsibilities.  Yes, IN ADDITION to.  The man hasn’t been able to get his work done and now he is taking on more.  Of course he has a plan.  He plans to shuck all the work onto me.  I’ve already seen glimpses of this, he’s been hinting at it for weeks.  Finally on Friday he stopped by my cube to attempt to drop the bomb on me.  Attempt to tell me that I will be responsible for his work, but not his glory, going forward. 
I didn’t accept it.  I said, well that is a conversation I need to have with my manager.  Then I turned to get back to my work.  My manager attempted to have a “light” discussion with me about this transfer as well.  But I’m not having it.  I’m not having any more of this, “Oh just take on this for a little while until so and so doesn’t have anything to do and then you can get back to being the peon that you are.” No thank you.  I want clear cut responsibilities.  I want clear cut deliverables.  I don’t want to float under the guise that this guy who has been screwing me at work for so many months will suddenly get it together and stop. 
Nor do I want to be told that I am out of line when I speak during a meeting.  If this is my job, if I am to be responsible for it, then I need to be allowed to speak, to talk to what I know.  Otherwise, forget it.  You don’t get anything from me.
I said something of the sort to my manager.  Without discussing specific situations, or people, I let him know that I have been beaten down a bit, I don’t like it, and I refuse to enter into more of it willingly.  I’m good at what I do, they say they appreciate me, now it’s time to prove it.  Prove it by not allowing some jerk to continue being a jerk.  I won’t have it.