Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I’m a wreck

I’m waiting.  I’m waiting for word about a new position.  I’ve been told that the decision will be made this week, by the end of this week, and so I am trying to sit still and wait.
It’s driving me batty.
I’m having a terrible time trying to sit still.  I’m attempting to keep myself busy by throwing myself into my work, but I am quickly running out of things to throw myself into.  There isn’t much to do right now. 
I can’t say anything to my co-workers, mostly because I don’t want to have to tell them I didn’t get another position if I didn’t get it.  I’ve already been passed over for 2 positions and had to turn down 2 (for personal reasons.)
I’m okay when I’m at home, there’s nothing I can do at home.  But here, at work, I have access to internet, email, instant messenger and the telephone.  The hiring manager is a phone call or click away.  The temptation to write and ask is huge.  Heck she’s only a few floors away; I could walk to her desk and ask.
I won’t.  I won’t call or click or anything like that, because I know that wouldn’t look so great. 
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. 
This is the worst part about looking for a new position – the waiting.