Archives
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Brain Dump:
Brain Dump:L and I went to the Asian market last week. I went mostly out of boredom. I do most things out of boredom. She wanted to pick up some fun things to cook and eat. and Wasabi peas. While we were there we happened upon the tea isle. I remembered some mint green tea I had not to long ago at the local tea house in Ballard. It was so yummy and relaxing, I looked to see if they had any where we were. Did they ever! I think there were 4 different kinds to choose from. I picked up some loose leaf tea, brought my tea strainer to work, and have been enjoying it ever since. It's called Moroccan Mint.
The other night, probably 2 weeks ago, I was up at 2am. I found I couldn't sleep so I decided to watch TV. Somehow I turned to the Food Channel and got hooked. I ended up watching a hour show on how to make chili. Ever since then I have been craving chili.
Monday night I decided to try making some and see how it went. I bought all kinds of ingredients and filled my chili pot up. It was okay, but it needed more tomato sauce. Last night I added the sauce with some more spices and I have to proclaim the entire thing a resounding success! It is fabulous! I got just the right amount of spice so that the chili makes your mouth sing without being over-poweringly hot. It's a good thing I like it, I will be eating it for at least a week!
Sometime ago I decided to read the top 100 fiction novels of the 20th century. Yes I was an English major. I got through about 25 before I gave up. This last week I found the list again and decided to start reading again. I found a cheap used copy of a book and started reading last night. The book is called, "A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories" by Flannery O'Connor. These have to be some of the most morbid stories I have ever read. I was shocked after the first one, the second showed me a bit of the theme. It is every day people, doing ever day things, and dying. It's, well, it's wacky! I'm not sure what I really think at this point.
Whistler was cold. It was 8 degrees when we got there. It was fun though. So beautiful. I want to go back there. I want to take everyone I know there. The drive was gorgeous, once out of Vancouver. Words can't describe it. The weekend was perfect too.
Monday, January 17, 2005
forgive
Main Entry: forgivePronunciation: for - giv,
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): for*gave; for*giv*en; -giv*ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English forgifan, from for + gifan to give
1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for (forgive an insult) b : to grant relief from payment of (forgive a debt)
2 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : PARDON (forgive one's enemies)
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
-- Robert Muller.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past -- but you sure do change the future.
-- Bernard Meltzer.
A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
-- Samuel Johnson.
************
I've been told many times in my life that true contentment, true inner happiness can only come through forgiving those that have wronged you. And so I have.
Somehow I have managed to forgive. I have forgiven my father for taking his own life. I have forgiven my stepfather for what he put me through. I have forgiven my mother and continue to forgive my mother still. (Just as she has forgiven me and continues to forgive me, I know it goes both ways) I have forgiven the children of my past and the adults of my present for the dirty looks, the jibes and the mean gestures.
I have forgiven many people for many things. But there remains one person in my life I have yet to forgive. One person I still hold accountable for all actions, regardless of the state of mind this person was in, regardless of the influences this person suffered, regardless of all. I cannot forgive.
Myself.
I am the person that I am. When I give myself, whether at work or school or love, I do it fully. I jump right in with both feet and half my body before thinking if what I am doing is right. I have always been this way. I give everything. If the world was mine, I would gladly give that too. When I hurt, it is to the same extreme. All of me is hurt, I feel the pain with my entire body, I suffer fully.
I have tried to not be this way, to change, but to no avail. My nature is otherwise inclined. I love as I lose, with everything.
I have forgiven those that have hurt me, just as I will continue to forgive. It is my way. Somehow, though, I must learn to forgive myself as well. Perhaps that is my greatest life lesson. Forgiveness.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Whistler here I COME!
Whistler here I COME!I was just invited to Whistler for the weekend! How cool is that? We leave Friday, which rocks because now I will have a 4 day weekend! Yeah for Me!
Monday, January 10, 2005
What?
What?I went into the bathroom to, well, use the bathroom. I walked into the stall and looked down into the toilet to check and see if it was, um, "clean." (I know, but how do you talk about toilets without getting disgusting?)
Anyway - I looked down and saw, of all things, a business card in the bowl.
All I could think was "well that is one way to sever a contact..."
Apparently just throwing the card away wasn't enough. The person had to FLUSH the card down the toilet...
I try…
I try...I try to not make fun of my boss. I try really hard. But sometimes it is so easy that even I cannot resist. I have a friend here who used to work with my boss on several meeting agenda items. Every once in awhile she would BCC me on the conversations that were going on. It was pretty funny as you could tell my boss just wanted someone to do the work for her and my friend was not about to back down and do it. At times my boss would be asking for instructions on something, never noticing that the instructions were attached to the very email she was replying to. My friend, patient as a saint, would politely email the instructions back to her again and explain again. Then, of course, she would email me about the fact that my boss didn't read. Hehehe.
The weather has been bad here. It snowed on Thursday down south. One of my co-workers lives down south and decided not to come in. She sent this email:
Subject: Well, that was sure fun!
I left the house at 5:45 thinking that I might catch the first train in so I could catch the first train out (I was worried about the snow reports). What normally takes me 20 minutes, took me almost an hour because traffic was going between 5-10 miles an hour. I had new tires, so had no idea, really, how icy the roads were. I missed the first train and second train, but thought since I got that far, I wasn't turning back. That was until I stepped out of my car at the train station. My foot slipped out from under me and I landed on my butt!
I decided right then and there that I was NOT going to try that again and headed back home. So, I've been on the road for almost two hours and have nothing to show for it (except a sore derriere!)
This email prompted a bunch of secondary emails to both my co-worker and my boss. At the end of the day I got this message from my boss:
Subject: Well, that was sure fun!
Cool.
I didn't get the "Well that was sure fun" part. ???
I worry... I really worry...
I just got off the phone with Rick who called to make sure I had some cheer in my day. He was telling me a story about this woman he tried to help drive up the very icy road this weekend. Then he said, "I think she dropped down the dumb tree and broke every branch..."
HAHAHAHAHA
Thanks Rick
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
