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Thursday, December 23, 2004
Goofing off is fun!
Goofing off is fun!Tuesday, before and after the snake converstaion, D & L & I had a great converstaion about The Swan. It's a show on FOX, in case you aren't aware, where they take "normal" people and make them over. It's close to extreme makeover only they just do it to women and at the end the women compete in a beauty pagent. I'm not exactly sure what they are competing for... but it doesn't really matter.
We were commenting on how all of these women look the same. They all come out with long hair, evening gowns, gloves and the same shaped eyes. Then D, out of no where, says they all look like Miss Piggy. He then told me to hold up the Miss Piggy finger puppet I recieved from Starbucks last year for Halloween. We were laughing hysterically.
Later, D was obviously suffering from sugar overload, D sat down at my desk and proceeded to make Miss Piggy a crown and sash. Here are the results of D's handy work:
We then decided to add Beaker as an adoring fan:
Just shows what kind of fun you can have in the office when there is swine involved!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Boredom leads to bad things…
Boredom leads to bad things...I was standing at a co-worker's desk (L) as another co-worker (D) noticed a picture on L's cube wall. This picture happens to be of L and her sister the night before L's wedding. They have a giant snake wrapped around them. L informed us that she was VERY intoxicated that night. L also told us that she told her sister that her sister was holding onto the snake's penis right before the picture was taken. A short conversation on the mating habits of snakes ensued. As none of us knew how snakes really mated L told me to look it up. So I did.
This is what I found (warning - this is, um, graphic?):
http://www.szgdocent.org/cc/c-love.htm
Male snakes have two penis (called hemipenes or half penis in the mistaken belief that they were pressed together to form one penis). Some snakes alternate between the two for separate matings, some just use which ever is closest to the female. The hemipenes inflates when it is inserted into the female and some hemipenes may be forked or spined, probably to ensure it stays inside the female during what can be a long mating.
Some males prevent the female from mating with other males by prolonging mating (remaining connected for up to 6 hours). Other simply hang around for a few days, keeping other males off. Some plug her up with secretions. Some are even sneakier: Garter Snakes (Thamnophis sirtalis) hibernate in large communal groups. In spring, the males emerge first and wait for the females to emerge. When a female sleepily stumbles out, tons of males form frenzied mating balls around her. Some males produce female pheromones which confuse other males and give them a chance to fertilise the real female. Once a male gets to her, the others scatter because he releases a pheromone than causes temporary impotence in other males.
Some female snakes can store sperm for several years and fertilise several clutches of eggs from this store. The Brahminy Blindsnake (Ramphotyphlops braminus) can reproduce without males (parthenogenic). Her eggs are self-fertilising and produces only females.
Now you know...
Coffee…
Coffee...People take their coffee very seriously in Seattle. And I do mean VERY SERIOUSLY.
This morning there was a rather long line at Starbucks. I happened to be at the beginning of the line as I got there just before everyone else showed up. Normally they would have the full crew there by 7am. This morning there were just two ladies working. The line quickly grew.
As I was getting my coffee and walking over to the cream and sugar I received some of the nastiest looks ever.
These people really needed their coffee, and quick!
Monday, December 20, 2004
Angry
AngryI'm not just mad, I'm Angry.
Here's the story:
My father died when I was 11. As far as I know, no one from his family ever tried to contact me or my family. No condolences. Nothing. Then, a few years ago, my father's brother contact me for my address. He was forced to by a court order as I am a "legal heir" to my grandmother. When he contacted me, he told me she was going into a home. I promptly asked for her address. I wanted to send her a card. He said he would give it to me and never did.
I get nothing from them but a legal letter every year detailing my grandmother's expenses. But not her address. I figured he didn't want me to contact her, and though I could push the point and demand it, I never have.
Then on Saturday I received a Christmas card. I want to burn it. I want to burn them. How DARE they use my address in such a fashion? How DARE they feel the right to send me a Christmas card when they refused to give me my grandmother's address, tell me where she is or if she is even okay? I am so angry. And ANGRY is the only word to describe it. Who do they think they are? Loving family that has NEVER contacted me except when they were court ordered to?
I don't know what to do with these feelings. I want to write them back and request that they never send me anything EVER again. I want to rant at them and tell them they are HORRIBLE people.
But mostly I just want my dad for the holidays.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Stupid is as Stupid Does…
Stupid is as Stupid Does...Boredom is quickly setting in. As it does I begin to wonder how much my brain has atrophied over these last few months.
Today I was actually complimented on my ability to quickly collate large amounts of paper, add tabs, put them in a binder and add post-it flags for easier page turning during a meeting. Then I was asked, for the forth or fifth time, where the meeting minutes are for September. The fact that I have to be constantly reminded there were no minutes in September, I wrote them, they were never approved, only bothers me a little bit. Instead of using my minutes, the meeting facilitator, aka da boss lady, decided to write her own version and send them via email and did not include me on that distribution list. Though I did have action items assigned to me, which I later found out when I didn't complete them.
I digress. I am completely digressing into some weird state where I come to work and don't have to think. I do what I am told and constantly remind myself to keep my mouth shut. This seems to be affecting me in ways I never imagined.
Regardless, I am going home early. With nothing to do and nothing to look forward to at work, I just don't feel the need to stay here...
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
