Friday, November 30, 2007
Perhaps I’ve been playing too much…
In the Wii Sims game I’ve become addicted to, when you build places for people to live and work the more colorful and crazy stuff you add the better your score. I’ve become adept at adding roof adornments, lights and various other decorations to the buildings in the game.
Yesterday I was looking out of my window at work and thought, “That building could really use something on the roof, like a giant pink troll, or a rainbow colored palm tree…” at which point I shook myself out of my game inspired thoughts. You know you have spent too much time playing a game when it starts to creep into reality.
Though I do think the city would look much nicer if it had more rainbow colored palm trees…
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Getting Involved
After some very unfortunate happenings with my previous work group, Hubby and I decided that I need a new hobby. Something that will take up more of my time and get me involved in good, wholesome activities.
As belly dance has become a bigger part of my life, I decided the best thing to do would be to volunteer to help with the next big effort, the Winter Solstice feast.
Every year the Fremont Arts Council puts on several events. The culmination of these events is the Winter Solstice Feast. I have wanted to attend since I first heard about it, but have always been told it is “invitation only.” This year I decided to make sure I did what ever it took to garner an invitation. I will attend!
And it looks like things are falling into place. I am helping with various volunteer activities, learning the choreography for the dance we’re performing and raising my hand left and right to be a part of this community.
The best part is the women I am working with. I have been around these women for years and have always wanted to get to know them better. Through this activity, and I am sure many more to come, I will build out a new circle of friends with interests like mine. Hearts like mine. They are beautiful women who love to dance and be creative. Two things that I love dearly.
I’m excited for the next month! It should be interesting.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Holiday Hangover
Every year, for several years now, there has been extreme family drama at my Grandparent’s house for Thanksgiving. This year, Hubby and I preached to our family that drama was not the way to go. We talked people into laughing off the situations that, in earlier years, would have caused big blow-outs and threats of leaving.
This was a quiet year and the laughter was evident. We told jokes, stories and avoided the snide, inconsiderate demeanor of my once favorite uncle.
Now I am home, back in the safety of Seattle, and I find myself contemplating the situation and what the future may bring.
I have decisions to make. After spending days in a cigarette smoke filled environment, my lungs are screaming in agony. My head hurts from the constant hacking and even Hubby looks at me with a worried expression. I’m giving it till Tuesday. If it doesn’t clear by then, I’m off to the Doctor to make sure it isn’t something worse than my body trying to shrug off the remnants of the smoke.
It is another year until Thanksgiving, but I am not sure that we will be able to attend again. Mainly because of my allergy to cigarette smoke and my Uncle’s undying need to prove his superiority to the rest of the family by smoking inside. It was horrible. I had to spend much of the holiday walking around outside, trying to get enough air to breath. The rest of the time I was hacking and sneezing.
The hardest thing about this Thanksgiving was not being able to spend quality time with the two people I wanted to see the most. My grandparents. Because of the smoke, being forced outside to breath, or forced into other rooms with closed doors, I barely got to talk with my Grandparents. And when I was able to talk to them, I was so miserable I could hardly think straight.
The rest of the family had many a conversation about what to do with this situation. No one likes the smoke, and we have asked many times for my uncle not to do this to us. Even expressing the fact that I am physically unable to breathe doesn’t seem to matter to him. Heck, even knowing my Grandparents are on supplemental oxygen and listening to my Grandfather hack didn’t seem to bother him one bit. We are a stubborn family, and I know many of us are set in our ways, but for me it has become more than an irritant. It is physically disabling for me to be there, breathing in the allergens that close my lungs. I am not sure that suffering for days afterwards is worth it.
Hubby and I are not sure we will be doing this again. It is too hard to watch a man be so selfish that he puts everyone else at risk because of an addiction he refuses to control. He may always be welcome at my Grandparent’s house, always welcome to smoke where he chooses, but it is my health, the rest of my life that concerns me. I don’t think I am willing to put myself at risk because of selfish man who has no respect for my family.
Being able to breathe is too important to me.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Good Day Sunshine!
That’s what is playing on my iPhone right this minute.
Of course it is windy, cloudy, rainy and miserable outside right now, but that’s all good. I am feeling great this morning!
We made it to the Crumpet Shop this morning for breakfast. As I nibbled on a green egg and ham crumpet with cream cheese Hubby and I listened to some country music. None of the popular music that people listen to these days, but the great country music that my Grandparents introduced me to. I sat in my seat, bopping my head to the music and even recognized a few songs.
It got me thinking again. Thinking about how truly lucky I am to have the supportive loving family that I have. Though we all have our ups and downs, our disagreements on how things should work, ultimately we all share one thing. Love.
I’m going to see my Grandparents in a matter of days and I can’t wait. There is nothing better than the wonderful feeling of coming home to their house. A place where we are always welcomed with love and smiles.
Every year we all head back for Thanksgiving. I can’t think of a more appropriate time for our family to meet, because I would not be the person I am without all of them and I give thanks for that every day of my life.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Might have Overdone It…
I started weightlifting at the gym again. I seem to go through stages where all I want is cardio, and then I switch it up and add the weights back in again.
I might have overdone the arms last night. I knew I was lifting pretty heavily – but I wasn’t expecting the pain that I am in today! Instead of being mildly sore, it seems that any movement of my arms causes pain. What worse is the feeling of overall weakness…I was holding the door for a woman in a wheelchair and almost lost my hold on the door!
I went to the recital for my performance class last night. I didn’t perform; I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I feel as though I am struggling a bit with who I have been and what I really want to be. I’m stuck in-between right now and trying to figure out which battle I want to fight first. These battles being with myself, not outside. I feel as though I am on the brink of so many things, I’m on the ledge and afraid to jump to see if I can fly.
It’s the ‘ol “what if I fail?” issue. What if I am a horrible dancer and fall and break my ankle? What if I am NOT a good project manager and I do all these things to get certified and then end up being an executive assistant because I am not good enough?
I’ve promised myself that I will start taking steps to perform. I’ve signed up for another performance class, this one involved choreography and I think that might be easier for me. It also involves dancing with candles, which I have always loved to watch.
I’ve also promised that myself that I will take the PMP certification test before the end of the year. That gives me 7 weeks. I’ve got a lot of work to do…guess I had better get busy!
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
