Friday, July 27, 2007
trying to tell me something
I think my dreams are trying to tell me something.
Last night I was on a sinking ship, was passed over for a promotion (but I seemed to have the largest office in the whole place, was informed that I need more discipline, and much more.
Every dream seemed to contain some special message just for me.
I guess here is where I start trying to figure it all out…
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
What Happened?
I woke up this morning ready to tackle the day, excited about coming into work.
Then I got here.
Not so excited anymore. I keep looking at my “to do” list hoping something will pop up that will bring back the excitement I felt when I woke up, but that isn’t happening. I just keep dreading the tasks I have to complete, but I’ve put some of them off for so long that I have to get them done or I will miss my deadlines.
Aurgh.
I just wish I was doing what I really want to do instead of what I am doing.
Ah well, back to the grind I guess.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Back in the saddle
Sometimes it is good to be back at work. Of course today it is not only good to be back at work it is good to be sane again. Cause I was not sane last week.
I took my last dose of the antibiotic Friday night. I spent most of the weekend recovering from the drugs and side effects. It was pretty amazing. I thought for a little while, that I might be permanently damaged from this little episode. I my heart I knew that wasn’t true, but it felt like it might never end for a bit there.
Three days never felt so long.
I got very little work done last week, so now I am in “Rush, Rush make up for lost time” mode. Fortunately I can work pretty quickly when I have to, so I am fairly certain I will be able to get everything done in a timely fashion. I hope.
Needless to say, I’ve been encouraging everyone I know to check into all medications before taking them. With so many new things on the market, you don’t really know what’s what anymore.
I will refuse this particular medication in the future. I’m going to talk to my Doctor about it the next time I see her.
If I ever go crazy again, I want it to be for a good reason, not just an infection!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Side Effects
So…the next time the Doctor decides to put me on medication I’ve never taken before, I think I will be a little wiser and read the side effects BEFORE I attempt to go back to work.
Seriously.
I know that I tend to react a little “differently” to medications than “normal” people. Take the current medication. The Warning: May cause anxiety or anxiousness; contact your doctor if you have thoughts of hurting yourself. My Reaction: Extreme giddiness and laughing hysterically until my coworkers can’t help but laugh with me and beg for some of what I am on. I think my re-action to the anxiety I was feeling was laughter. After I left work and started to calm down, I felt a lot better. At least I started to feel SANE again.
Now I know it was expected…
Don’t get me wrong – it’s pretty entertaining. But not the best thing for you manager to see…at least I warned him.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Incoherent
I’m sick again. Only this time the illness comes with antibiotics. New and different antibiotics that I’ve never heard of with side effects I’ve never had before. It’s kind of fun, in a strange and twisted way, to know that the real reason you feel like you’re on drugs is because you ARE on drugs.
Right. So apparently the side effects for me are drowsiness and complete loss of mental coherence. I start thinking about something and then, poof, it’s gone. Needless to say, I didn’t stay at work today. Nor did I end up doing much at home, since even reading a novel was too much for me. The cool part is the not caring. Sure I can’t remember what I wanted to do, but I don’t really seem to mind that much.
The good news – the antibiotics are only taken for three days. None of this 7 day crap for me! No – I’ll be done with this in 3.
Hmmm. I think maybe I’ll stop while I’m still slightly ahead…
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
