Wednesday, June 13, 2007
High Stakes Drama
We’ve got a process that everyone hates. The customer hates it. The people who administer the process hate it. It’s cumbersome, it’s time consuming, it stinks. In fact only one person really ever liked the process and that is the person who created it. I figure she liked it for two reasons. One, it has a pretty form and two, it allowed her to feel control over something that she never should or would have had control over.
That person is now on maternity leave.
It’s the perfect time to update the process, make it easier and make people happier.
So, we started having conversations yesterday. We tried to find out some of the things about the process that needed to be changed and socialize the idea a bit.
We ran into a little snag. One of the managers has a project “in the works” that he feels would be undermined by our suggested changes. We took this into consideration and decided to move forward with a proposal, a suggestion if you will.
The manager blew up. He took our suggestion and ran with it, thinking we were somehow attempting to undermine his authority with our idea. He attacked those of us who had the initial conversation, telling us that we weren’t team players. He then went one step further and brought the situation to the attention of our management team.
WE hadn’t even broached the subject with our management team yet. We were still formulating our ideas, analyzing the process to be sure what we thought should be changed was the right thing. We were still just talking.
He then took it one step further and took it to his manager.
It’s been two days of utter swirl because of an idea, a conversation and a modest proposal to change a process to increase efficiency.
And the management team wonders why no suggests anything…
In other news I’ve got another inview today. Maybe soon I will be out of this drama and onto a new one!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Ouch
Here’s my dilemma. Do I discuss the wonderful things that happened this weekend first, or do I move directly into the torturous part of the weekend? Do I attempt to meld the good with the bad thereby making it all seem rather, well, crappy?
Don’t get me wrong. It was a great weekend. The ending of it made me truly happy, because I knew it was over and I could come sit in my nice, climate controlled office with my comfy chair and hot delicious mocha. Not just any mocha either, but a Ladro mocha made with so much love that the flavor is immediately enhanced to be richer, deeper and just plain wonderful.
I guess I will take it day by day…
Saturday seems like so long ago. Where did you go Saturday? It was rainy and cold outside. Hubby and I went out to breakfast at Café Moose, one of our favorite places to go for any meal. The food was delicious and the coffee strong and hot. Hm. We trundled home to get some laundry done and I worked on my costume for this weekend. It’s starting to pull together. I know it could be better, but, well, it’s just for one day. Once I get my vest done I will have to stop making up new things to add. I’m just running out of time.
Saturday afternoon I headed off to a belly dance workshop titled: Snake, Rattle and Role. This workshop concentrated on snake-like movements and shimmies. I think we shimmied for an hour straight. I loved it. I’m signing up for classes from the teacher. It was fantastic and I can’t wait to learn more. The teacher has a definite ability to break down movements and teach them in a way I understand, even if I can’t quite keep up physically.
Saturday night we went out to dinner with some friends. We headed off to Madame K’s for pizza and general frivolity. It was great and we had a ton of fun. We finished off the night by playing the Wii.
Then came the aftermath of dinner. Apparently dinner didn’t sit well with me. I think it was the combination of really rich food, sangria with lots of fruit and being sick. I was up all night with stomach issues.
As you can imagine I was in great shape for Sunday. A Sunday filled with boxes and a moving van and a very emotional mother-in-law. Thank goodness Hubby has wonderful friends who are more than willing to step in at the last minute and dedicate hours of their day to helping someone else’s mom move. We spent about 7 hours moving Hubby’s mom out of her house. She still isn’t done, there are a few rooms left with stuff in them. But we did all we could and got most of it out. What’s left she can probably take care of with some help from her new roommates.
All I can really say is, “Whew, I’m glad that’s over with.”
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Epiphany
I had an epiphany tonight.
I went to lunch with one of my older and most of the time, wiser team mates. We’ve had several candid conversations about my job through the last two years. We’ve talked about what I want to do and where I want to go and she’s attempted to help me get over my general malaise about work.
I was telling her about my present situation, about my manager and the things he’s been doing. How he’s been cutting me down in front of my co-workers and setting out to make me feel generally unworthy to be on his team. I talked to her about what I should do, should I go one level up and talk to next person in line about this behavior?
She suggested that I do that. Some of the things that have been happening are really out of line, especially from someone who is as “seasoned” as my manager is supposed to be. Ignoring an employee in meetings, or not showing up to meetings, telling the employee that their work is not a worthwhile effort, growling at an employee, writing nasty emails to an employee...well these things are generally frowned upon.
So, after weeks of thinking about this action, I have taken it. I set up a meeting for next week.
Then the fretting started. Should I really talk to this manager about my manager? Is that fair? What kinds of questions will this person ask me? So I started thinking back...when did the behavior really start?
Then it hit me - like a ton of bricks it hit me.
It all started with Tiny.
It all started over 6 months ago when I told my manager that I felt Tiny was personally attacking me.
After that, my manager moved Tiny onto a pedestal. And he moved me into the dog house for no real reason.
Based on one situation, one I had no control over, my manager decided that I no longer worked for him. Yes I was on his team, but I suddenly became someone for him to deal with instead of someone to work with.
Everything that has happened since falls neatly into line behind this incident.
I’m really glad I set up that meeting.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Awake
I’m sick. I’m awake. My mind is racing and I can’t seem to get it to calm down.
It’s not that late yet. Really, I’ve been walking around like a zombie for the last three days, so suddenly being awake isn’t a surprise.
A lot has been going on and I have a lot to think about.
Like the PMP. That’s the Project Management Professional certification. I’ve never done the math before, but I have all the “stuff” that’s needed to take the test. Except, of course, the prep class and a management team that might be willing to stand behind me while I take the test. It’s not a question of will I pass, I know I will. I feel like I was meant to be a PM. But having managers who believe the same thing...well that can be harder to come by.
Speaking of managers...mine doesn’t speak to me anymore. He’s shown up late to every one on one I’ve had scheduled and we’ve even canceled the last two. I kind of feel like, what’s the point? I don’t want to do what he wants me to do and he doesn’t want to give me the chance to do what I want to do. All he can be is angry about the fact that I changed my mind. I can’t help it if I hate my job. But I can change my life to be what I want it to be. Just because he wants something different doesn’t mean I have to conform. He’s not my father, he’s my manager. He only thinks he’s my dad. I don’t think he has any idea about me really…
Then there’s the job hunt. Or race. Apparently the one position that I want, that I am overly qualified for, is the one that everyone wants. The interviews are getting tougher and tougher. The last was a pre-screen that will be followed by a written response, or exam, or something. You’d think I WAS testing for the position, not interviewing. Unfortunately for my competition, if it comes down to a written response they are out of luck. I am, after all, a writer.
The parade is in two weeks. I am not confident about my costume or my ability to participate. The participation is something I will get over, it happens every year. Delilah changes things last minute and everything feels out of synch. But the parade comes together like we’ve all been practicing for a year. It’s her leadership that ultimately does it.
The costume...well that’s another story. I don’t really love it. White is not my color - as evidenced by the ivory wedding dress. I’ll figure out how to make it work, and really it is for one day. It will be fun regardless. It always is.
Just for a moment…
Just for the moment my ears have unclogged. That means that currently I can hear without feeling like I am sitting at the end of a long tunnel filled with cotton.
Of course my nose is still running and I am constantly blowing it to the point that it is red and tender and I feel faintly like Rudolf. But the sneezing has calmed for the moment (at least while I attempt to not breath through my nose, which I can’t because it’s full of liquid and when I breath the liquid comes out faster…)
After two days of going home early to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling with Kleenex stuffed in my nose, I am attempting to spend the whole day at work. I don’t really want to be at work, I feel as if someone has been running over my body with a bulldozer, but I only have so many sick days and I’m saving those for when I really need them. You know, for when my mind can no longer take the insanity of the workplace and the sun is out and calling my name. Right now it’s cloudy and somewhat cold. I’d much rather be at work infecting those around me than at home laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling.
So far it is going pretty well. I had one meeting this morning where we decided to meet again next week to decide what we’re going to do. Since no one in that meeting was willing to make a decision (they rely on me for those currently) I felt we should defer to a time when I am not trying to keep my nose from dripping on the table.
The only other thing I have today is a phone interview with a recruiter, whom I’ve already talked to. The last time I talked to this recruiter it was sunny outside and I ended up writing him a follow-up message detailing why the hiring manager should bring me in for an interview. It’s not sunny, but I am expecting much the same today.
What I am currently not looking forward to is Friday, where I have an actual interview. Because if this whole nose thing doesn’t clear up today there is no chance that I will be able to walk into the interview on Friday without looking a bit like Rudolf. And even though Rudolf saved the day, no one really wanted him on their team…
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
