Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Excuse Me?
Being that yesterday was a snow day for many people, my boss included; I didn’t get an update on the Tiny situation. This morning I approached him first thing to discuss what’s been going on.
Nothing. Apparently he had decided, all on his own, that this issue was just a big misunderstanding and that we should all just forget it ever happened. He feels that since Tiny didn’t really know what he was doing, that I should forgive him and continue working.
Um, no. I told him that solution was not going to work for me, and really it is not. This is not something I am willing to sweep under the carpet and forget about. The man attacked me and I will not let it go. I don’t care if it was a week ago or three weeks ago – an attack is an attack.
I’m angry and upset. I don’t like feeling second class because I was attacked and that is how my boss is treating this situation. I know he doesn’t want to deal with confrontation, but he doesn’t have a choice here. Sweeping all of this under the rug only allows this person to feel like it was all okay and that he can do it again. And possibly, he can do it to me again. That’s just not right.
I told him that I want an apology from Tiny. Period.
If I don’t get it, I will have to take the next step.
Monday, November 27, 2006
In case you didn’t know…
In case you weren’t aware, it’s snowing in Seattle. Here are a few pictures from our nice warm apartment…
It’s been awhile since it has snowed here - I felt like a kid when it started. I turned my face towards the sky and let it fall on my face, little flakes of frozen rain melting as they touched my skin. It was cold outside, and because of Monday night football our bus was more than 30 minutes late. We waited it out and rode on a packed bus all the way home. The warmth was worth the wait, as was the pure humanity of the bus ride. It’s a slice of life you don’t see anywhere else.
Just make it stop
I’m at work. Tiny didn’t come in today, so there is one less thing for me to worry about. Though I was up half the night with indigestion, most likely from worrying about various scenarios that may or may not take place. He’s supposed to be in tomorrow.
I’ve been pulled out of my meetings with him and almost all of my related tasks have been given to someone else. The boss man came up with a plan; I am waiting to see if he implements it or tries to forget the whole thing ever happened. I hate to be a spoiled sport, but I can’t let this one go. I refuse to work with someone who can’t see past their nose.
Of course the plan the boss came up with just isolates the two of us from each other. Meaning that someone will have to mediate between the two of us. And since I work away from the rest of my group I get to be even more isolated than I have been since being re-orged. I’m so excited to face the possibility of endless days without team interaction. Of course Tiny will have plenty since he will still sit in the midst of every one else, I will be the one left out.
Which brings up a good point, something I have often pondered when put into these situations. Why is the person speaking out against harassment so often the one punished? So this man harassed me, told me that I am not allowed to speak, told me that I was out of line when giving my opinion, and now my boss is removing me from the duties that caused the issue. I no longer attend the meetings. I no longer get to participate in the way I was doing so before. I get to be isolated because I don’t like the way I was being treated.
The hardest thing for me is that I really don’t know what to do in this type of situation. I told my boss, I’m keeping a log of the situations, but what now? What am I supposed to do, if anything, about this enforced isolation? A man felt I was making him look bad because I was doing my job and so I am removed from his sight so he doesn’t have to see me anymore?
I still get to do more work because Tiny can’t (and won’t) be able to get it done. So, I get to be isolated AND I get to work harder AND no one will see what I do because I will no longer be participating because when Tiny sees me in a meeting he gets angry and aggressive.
Tell me how this is fair?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
The Bad, the Ugly and Thanksgiving
Things got worse at work. I wasn’t prepared for it at all. I was prepared for a lot of other things, but not what happened. How could I have been, really? No 20/20 back lash here. There was no way to see this one coming.
The man from my previous post, we’ll call him Tiny, was at it again. This time he attacked me after a meeting. And by attacked I mean the man came up to me after the meeting and told me that I was not to speak unless spoken to. He informed me, in his best patronizing voice, that HE was the meeting leader and that by speaking out I caused him to forget to ask for status on something. Bear in mind the purpose of the meeting it to get status on tasks and by speaking out I was attempting to give status on a task.
Regardless, I am through with the situation. How dare he? Really, how dare he tell me that I am not to speak “unless spoken to”? What am I 12? Is this not a work environment?
Yeah.
I’m still waiting for the fall out – still waiting to see what the outcome will be from this. I am not a happy camper. That was last Monday and Tuesday. I left for Colorado on Wednesday morning still reeling.
The worse part about the situation so far is my boss’ current treatment of it. Without hearing my side of the story, he talked to Tiny about what happened. Tiny informed him that I was at fault in this situation. That I had been continually “stabbing” him in the back and Tiny was just tired of all the “arrows” that I had been flinging at him.
Really.
The first conversation I had with my boss was about Tiny’s view of the situation. I quickly informed him that I didn’t care what Tiny thought. I didn’t care what Tiny felt. What I cared about what not being attacked for speaking in a meeting. Seriously.
Onto Thanksgiving. I feel wrong attempting to include a wonderful experience with something so seriously awful as what’s happening at work. Ups and downs, happiness and anger, all in one post!
Thanksgiving was great. The bad drama was contained and fairly short lived this year. The good drama was FABULOUS and so exciting I can hardly stand it.
My very good friend that I absolutely adore and her wonderful man are finally engaged. I heard the news and my heart leapt for joy. These two people are so perfect for each other, if I wasn’t in love with my husband already they would have me believing in the possibilities. I’m so excited…I love it!
Thanksgiving was also wonderful. With hubby around my grandparents opened up in a way I have never seen them, telling stories I hadn’t heard for a long time or at all. I felt a new relationship growing with them again. Something absolutely amazing to me, I keep learning from them. Not that I believed they had nothing more to teach me, they have taught me so much over my life, but this is a new lesson, a new tale. I have always admired their love for each other, the way they interact and show how they care. I have said it before; I am truly blessed to have the family I have. I continually find myself surrounded by their love.
We had a second Thanksgiving at my brother’s house. His wife’s family had dinner on Friday night and their house was also filled with loving people to celebrate. I met my sister-in-law’s sister and her two children, two beautiful girls. They brought laughter and giddiness into the house for the feast and the next morning. It was so much fun.
We arrived back in Seattle yesterday.
I’m not excited to go back to work…which really stinks because I was finally getting to like the work, if not the people.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I’m becoming my own cliché and I love it.
I’ve taken to hanging out in the same coffee shop every Sunday to get some writing done. Normally I am good about bringing my headphones, but I’ve forgotten them today. This affords me a new treat to the coffee shop “goings on.” There are several people who work in the shop, and I get the feeling they are on rotation, with different people working Sunday afternoons depending on the week.
Today our normal barista was on her way out, as usual, when I got in. She stuck around long enough to serve me, she appreciates my tipping habits, and ask how my weekend is going. The second barista that is normally present is missing. I assume he got the weekend off, perhaps due to the big Michigan/Ohio game yesterday. In his place is a young perky blonde who flirts shamelessly with every man who enters the shop. She’s less exciting with the women and almost chilly with the couples. But the men, the men bring out a loud bubbling giggle; a flashy white smile and a comfortable lean on the counter in their direction as if to say she has all the time in the world for him and only him. Who ever the him is at the moment.
It’s honestly a bit distracting from the whole novel writing thing. But I am a bit distracted in my mind anyway.
I’ve always been one for the saying, “Nothing is constant but change” but things have been changing a lot lately. It started with school; the class being the let down it has been is really discouraging. I was hoping for more. I was hoping to learn something that would help with the problems that I seem to be having. The teacher hints at new things, hints at teaching us things that will help, but when she gets to that point I feel betrayed by the build up.
Things have also been on the move at work. We’ve had a bit of attrition and jobs are being juggled. The man who has been tormenting me is taking on another job in addition to his current responsibilities. Yes, IN ADDITION to. The man hasn’t been able to get his work done and now he is taking on more. Of course he has a plan. He plans to shuck all the work onto me. I’ve already seen glimpses of this, he’s been hinting at it for weeks. Finally on Friday he stopped by my cube to attempt to drop the bomb on me. Attempt to tell me that I will be responsible for his work, but not his glory, going forward.
I didn’t accept it. I said, well that is a conversation I need to have with my manager. Then I turned to get back to my work. My manager attempted to have a “light” discussion with me about this transfer as well. But I’m not having it. I’m not having any more of this, “Oh just take on this for a little while until so and so doesn’t have anything to do and then you can get back to being the peon that you are.” No thank you. I want clear cut responsibilities. I want clear cut deliverables. I don’t want to float under the guise that this guy who has been screwing me at work for so many months will suddenly get it together and stop.
Nor do I want to be told that I am out of line when I speak during a meeting. If this is my job, if I am to be responsible for it, then I need to be allowed to speak, to talk to what I know. Otherwise, forget it. You don’t get anything from me.
I said something of the sort to my manager. Without discussing specific situations, or people, I let him know that I have been beaten down a bit, I don’t like it, and I refuse to enter into more of it willingly. I’m good at what I do, they say they appreciate me, now it’s time to prove it. Prove it by not allowing some jerk to continue being a jerk. I won’t have it.
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
