Monday, March 27, 2006
New Digs - New Attitude
I’ve moved cubes again. The new place is, well, new. I’m not really sure how I feel about it yet. I am sitting next to people that I have been sitting next to – only in a new configuration. There are new people around too. I should be working, but I don’t really feel the need to work. The sense of urgency has left me for today. Instead I keep getting struck by the natural light streaming in from a window a few cubes over. If I crane my neck a certain way I can see out of the window to the bay and mountains beyond. It makes me glad that I am not sitting in a window cube. I would never get any work done. Someone would tap me on the shoulder and ask me what I was doing and find me staring out the window dreaming of being outside. As it currently stands, I will have to remain very motivated in order to keep myself from wanting to turn around and just stare out.
The motivation should be back tomorrow. With things as they are, I DO not want to be caught doing nothing. I’m on a mission to make myself as indispensable as I possibly can. I am going to learn as much as I possibly can, complete as many assignments as I can and be as nice and friendly as possible. I want to smile so much that my face hurts. I never want to be caught saying an evil word about anyone, anywhere inside this office. I figure with the change in offices should come my continual change in attitude. At least at work.
I want to prove that the right decision was made when I was hired into this group a year ago. I don’t want anyone to think twice about me – about anything. My goal is total confidence.
We’ll see if I can do it! 
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Getting to know you
I’m doing this thing at work called “Getting to know you.” I was given the opportunity when the management in our group decided we needed to do something to increase communications. It’s actually been something I have always wanted to do, interview people about things they don’t think about. The trivial things, like what they do outside of work and what kind of movies they like to watch.
The experience has been nothing short of amazing. I have done over 20 interviews and every person, EVERY person has been incredibly interesting. These are people from all walks of life, men and women living life, going through trauma and strife and happiness and joy. In a 30 minute interview I get to learn so much about them. And every one of them has told me how “uninteresting” and “boring” they are before the interview. Telling me they have nothing to say.
Which leads me to think about work, about life. I’m involved in a project, we’re installing some software, and the project will have lasted 18 months or so when it is over. I’ve been on larger projects before, worked with large groups before, but I’ve never been so aware before.
On this project:
3 people have had parents die
2 babies have been born
3 people have been engaged (including me!)
And that’s just the beginning. There have been accidents, surgeries, family strife, divorces, celebrations, graduations are coming, and many more…
It amazes me, all these people who live their lives, their every day lives, doing extraordinary things and never thinking twice about it.
I’m lucky to have noticed.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
last night
Last night I got home from the gym, cold, hungry and a little wet to find a nice warm apartment, a fire in the fireplace and dinner almost ready. I could have cried it was so wonderful and amazing. Not that Freeman would do all of that for me, for us, but that I have Freeman to do it. That Freeman is living with me and that we love each other the way we do. We ate dinner and sat on the couch, watching TV together and holding hands. I am one lucky person. I am very blessed.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Shopping!
Mom and I went on “The Great Excursion” last Saturday. “The Great Excursion” would be shopping for a wedding dress. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured it was time to start looking. We started our search at one store and then moved to a second. I had been doing some research online and actually found one dress that made me think “if only I could actually find that dress, it is so gorgeous” wouldn’t you know, the one dress that I loved online was the first dress I tried on at the store. I was amazed, amazed that I found it and amazed that it looked the way it did.
Just to be sure, we headed to another store to look at the second dress that I really wanted to try on. We got the store and it was hopping. There easily three times as many people in the second store. We had a 20 minute wait for a room and a sales person to help us out. We headed off to the racks to pull the dresses I wanted to try on. We ran into another mother and daughter team looking. The bride had some of the same body issues I did and her mom and my mom swapped tips. We finally got a room and started stuffing me in some dresses. And stuffing is what it was like. I felt sausage-like in all the undergarments and such. It was fun.
I came out of the dressing room in the first dress. I happened to be in a room right next to the ladies we had been talking to earlier. Her mom went crazy. I think it was the type of dress that she wanted her daughter to get. It had a full skirt and was fairly simple. I was looking in the mirror and noticed another lady standing behind me wearing the exact same dress and giving me a look of death. Every one was oohing and aahing around me and I just wanted to get the dress off so the girl glaring at me would stop. I took the dress off and I believe the lady next to me grabbed it for her daughter to try on. She didn’t like it either. I came out in a couple other dresses and every time I came out the mom next door oohhed and aahhed and called her daughter out to see me in the dress I had on. I started to feel a little sorry for the bride next door. Then I came out in my last dress.
The sales lady helping another lady actually stopped in her tracks when she saw me in the dress. I had a small crowd around me chattering about the dress I had on. And all I could really think was, it didn’t compare to the first dress I tried on.
It was a fun experience, but I am really glad that I found the dress that I wanted from the beginning. We’re going back next weekend to order it and get the process on it’s way! Yeah for me! 
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
