Tuesday, January 10, 2006
We don’t need no drama
After all of the drama yesterday, today everything is blissfully silent. Though I regret arguing, the outcome has been a super quiet workplace. I’ve gotten more done today than in 3 normal days. All because one person has kept silent.
I had a brief conversation with my boss regarding the situation. I admitted it was my fault as well as this other persons. She said not to worry about it. Just to let it all blow over and it would work itself out. She also mentioned that this person has been on a bit of a tirade lately and I was just the latest target. I had noticed that, and I think several other people have seen it as well. It almost makes me sad for her.
Almost.
Because she said some things yesterday that I can’t just discount. In the heat of the moment our true feelings come out and now I understand how she feels about me. Understanding is half the battle, and now I know to be careful in the future.
But for now, all is quiet.
Monday, January 09, 2006
I did it
I finally did it. The one thing I have been attempting NOT to do for weeks, okay months now. I’ve blown up at my co-worker for missing work.
I know that I should not have done this, which is why I have been working for months on not saying anything. But today I lost it. Today was the last straw.
There was a project we were supposed to work on together. I took a bunch of pictures and she was supposed to help me reformat them for a document she was creating. I took the pictures Friday morning and thought we had agreed that she would help me finish the process that afternoon.
But she left.
I got back from lunch and she was packing up and left.
I asked my boss what to do, I had a ton of work to do and I wanted to her to do what she said she would do, which was help me. My boss told me to leave it. So I did. I thought nothing more of until this morning.
This morning when she stood at my desk demanding to know when I would have the work done. Not only demanding, but raising her voice and accusing me of using her being out of the office as an excuse to not do my work and make her look bad.
So I lost it.
I lost it in front of the boss too.
I feel bad – in a way – but then again I don’t. She’s been missing so much work that everything has been getting dumped on me. I’m now over loaded and something had to give somewhere. It just happened to be my temper.
Now she’s not speaking to me, but I don’t feel so bad because I don’t really want to talk to her. What I really want is for her to show up to work and be a team player.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
What’s goin on?
Right, so, blogging hasn’t been my strongest point these past few weeks. I’ve been meaning to write, even going so far as to put a few thoughts down on paper, but I actually written anything. Part of it was the fact that I had to upgrade my site (in case you saw all the weird code stuff a few days ago) part of it has been just finding my routine again. The holidays really threw me for a loop and I have been attempting to recover ever since.
So, the big news, I joined a gym. Yep! I’ve temporarily given up on bally dancing and joined a gym. I’m thinking I will still do the parade this year, it has always been a lot of fun and I get to hang out with some really cool people. Though I love belly dancing, and the classes have been a lot of fun, the last series wasn’t as fun as usual. My teacher has increased her class size so there is no longer any room to move around in the studio. Due to the large number of people and the lack of movement, I wasn’t getting the workout I really wanted. So, I’m giving it up for a bit. I figure I will go back, but right now I need more of a workout than I was getting. And she was raising her prices. The gym is much cheaper and I can go when ever I want. Which is cool.
We will see how long it lasts. I didn’t get into a contract, so if it turns out the gym really isn’t for me I can get out pretty easily. I went three times last week and really enjoyed each time. I’m starting to settle into it a little and I imagine that it will only get easier to go. Yeah!
My writing classes also started up this last week. I have a new teacher and am determined not to read anything she has written until after she is no longer my teacher. Not making the same mistake I made last time. Plus I have calmed down about my writing a bit. I think, being in class, I am pushed a lot to do things I am not always ready to do. I understand that I am there to learn about writing a good novel, but I also understand my limitations when it comes to writing. I can’t write the end when I haven’t written the beginning. I really enjoyed the class, I think I benefited from it a lot.
Work is also starting to get a little more intense. It seems that other people within our group think we don’t have enough to do. They have been getting together and making up more stuff for us to do. Unfortunately this doesn’t really work for us as we’ve already got a lot on our plates. At least I have a lot on my plate. And it is my plate they want to add to. I’m not sure who they think I am, superwoman or something, but I’m not. I’m not exactly sure what to do. I’ve already tried passing the work onto one of my co-workers (one who clearly hasn’t had enough to do in the past) but it’s not working. This person is shrugging off the work, not willing to take on anything new. It’s a new position for me to be in. Usually I am begging for work. Now I am trying to figure out how to get people to stop giving me work so I can catch my breath and get everything else done.
I’m sure it will all work out, but until I’ve got my routine back it will just take some time for me to get it all figured.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Happy New Year!
Whoopee! It’s finally 2006. The year of, well, I’m not sure yet. But I AM sure that this year will be exciting. I spent a little time over the weekend reflecting on what I have learned this last year.
I’ve learned that I cannot drink like I used to. Mostly because the affliction called “hangover” has finally caught up with me. I don’t remember getting hangovers when I was younger. I would spring back from a night of drinking and merrily go on my way. Not so now.
I’ve learned that Freeman can blow really cool fireballs, while his friends mostly set themselves on fire and then freak out because they’ve set themselves on fire.
I’ve learned that, though I love belly dance as something to do, I am not a “Belly dancer.” No public performances from me, thank you very much. Well, with the exception of the Solstice Parade.
I finally understand what I want from life. Now I just have to figure out if life wants the same thing from me.
I’ve been reminded, over and over, how loved I am. How lucky I am. And even though I’ve had crappy times that I would rather forget, the good times far outweigh those. I’ve been blessed with great friends that support me, a wonderful family that is always rooting for me and a fabulous boyfriend who treats me like a princess. Things are good.
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
