Tuesday, November 29, 2005
If you don’t have anything nice to say…
I’ve been going off the premise that if I don’t have anything good to say I should just not say anything. Though several funny thoughts have crossed my mind, these past couple of days I have been feeling rather negative, and tired. The trip to Colorado was good, though as always, too short. It was wonderful to see my family and I realize more every year how lucky I am to have them. I was very fortunate to have the childhood I had, to be able to visit my grandparents in the mountains as much as I did.
On Thanksgiving day I sat outside on their front porch and contemplated my life. It wasn’t one of those deep contemplations, I wasn’t thinking about my mortality or the pain and strife I have been through. Instead I was thinking about all the happy times I have been able to enjoy. The countless Thanksgivings I have been blessed with over the years. Though there always seem to be issues with my family, little wars going on here and there, I have been blessed with the knowledge that every year I get to return to the same house, with the same people, and do it all over again.
Every year my Grandparents have been there for me. Grandpa makes the most wonderful biscuits and gravy and has succeeded in making it impossible for me to get it anywhere else. No restaurant could possibly stand up to the ambiance of their kitchen table, to the warmth and love I am surrounded with when I am there. Grandma always has some chore for us to do, something she would like made or cleaned up, and it is always a surprise. One year we painted her bathroom. This year I cleaned her shoes out for her. It was fun to see some of the shoes she has kept (and is still keeping) one pair was from her high school years. They are still in pristine condition.
My Aunt Judy and Uncle Kenny are always fun to be around. I think as I get older I have learned to appreciate them and the things that they do even more. They have made the holiday possible for many years now. I don’t know that I have always realized their contribution to the family, though as I get older I see what they have done, what they are doing, and I love them for it. Their laughter could not be replaced. I’m always happy to see Judy and Ken’s smiling faces, they are such happy people.
Mark and Breeayne didn’t make it up to the grandparent’s this year, Mark had back surgery. But they had their own supper and we saw them before we left town.
Though all of that, through all of the traveling, driving and sleepless nights, I kept in mind the fact that I am a very lucky person. And though I am a few days late, I have to say I am very thankful for the family that I have.
So, nothing bad tonight. I was somehow able to get through the whole post without ranting. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it again tomorrow, but we’ll let that be for now. 
Monday, November 14, 2005
Update
I’ve added more to the story…
The most wonderful time of the year…
No, not Christmas silly, my birthday! My fabulous, wonderful birthday! I had THE BEST birthday weekend ever. Freeman and I went to a burlesque show on Thursday night. My dance teacher’s daughter was performing. I think she is an amazing dancer and she is very creative, so I thought it would be fun to see what she put together. I wasn’t let down at all. She did a great number to one of Elvis’s songs. It was a lot of fun.
We got home late and woke up late Friday morning. It was very nice to have a three day weekend for my birthday. Just one of the reasons I like having my birthday right where it is! Mom came up Friday morning and we went out to an early lunch. Then mom and I took off shopping! Yeah for shopping! I got a new coat; it’s very nice, light colored, waterproof and warm. All things that I needed in a coat for the winter time. Now I can walk home in the dark with more confidence. People at least have a chance of seeing me. We also got a few new shirts for work (thanks mom!) which I desperately needed.
Mom bought us a lovely cast iron tea pot. It’s got a terrific maple leaf pattern on it and has a blue hue. I really like it and I’ve already made a great pot of tea. It was a lovely think to do on Sunday after our Housewarming party. She also got me a great pair of PJ’s for the party. I think everyone should have a pair of sock monkey pj’s to party in! They were a hit.
By the way, Freeman and I had a housewarming party on Saturday night. It was a lot of fun. We had about 8 people over and sat around chatting and drinking and eating. We had “cartoon” hour where Freeman introduced a bunch of people to “robot chicken” a funky cartoon on the cartoon network. I found a new type of liquor, Patron XO café, a very tasty way to drink tequila. It’s actually tequila with coffee liqueur in it. I mixed it with hot chocolate for a very tasty treat.
All in all, I have to say it was a truly wonderful weekend. I was very blessed that everything turned out the way it did. Thanks everybody!
Getting a little confused?
During my writing class last week I penned the following, “He pulled out a pair of dark colored sox and walked over to the bed.” Notice the use of sox instead of socks.
I noticed this mistake when I read over what I had written. I even erased it and re-wrote the correct spelling. Today, during my lunch hour, I was reading what I had typed up and noticed the same mistake. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Someone has been spending too much time thinking about government regulations…
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Trying my patience
Today I lost my patience. I’m not sure why, there was no specific reason for me to. But all day long I felt like an emotional bomb waiting to explode. I attempted to explode this morning, but I was quickly diffused by my co-workers. Good job, I say.
The rest of the day was filled with one almost explosion after another. I did my best to stay calm and just avoid situations that would lead me to losing my temper, and I did a really good job.
The mood continued into class tonight. I didn’t want to listen to the teacher lecture. I didn’t want to sit still. I wanted to walk, I wanted to write, I wanted to think about my characters. Instead I attempted to pay attention. I did write, and I only walked around during my breaks. I think I did well for myself today. Deep breath. Tomorrow will be better.
Part of my problem with my current situation is the book I am reading. I decided to pick up one of my teacher’s novels to see what it’s like. She seems very intelligent and very excited and she is, after all, critiquing my work. I wanted to see how this woman writes. I’m rather disappointed. I realize that I have only read her first novel. I picked up a couple of them to see if I can see her writing mature. I have been told that the first is the hardest and usually the roughest. I can believe it, but I wanted more from her. So, we’ll see. I’m giving it a chance, but I’m just not being held by the story telling.
So, not being held by the story irritates me. I feel like I should be more entertained than I am. I know it’s an important lesson. If my writing does not hold itself together, if I cannot entertain and keep people interested they will not read my writing anymore than I want to read hers. At least not at the moment. So…
I’m thinking after this I am going to read something I have read before that I know I enjoyed. I think I may be getting stumped in my own writing because I’m not reading something that really interests me. I know when I read really interesting, really cool stuff I write better. I’m thinking I’ve had enough with the bad writing and experimentation with new authors. I need to read stuff that interests me, keep me thinking and helps me expand my creativity.
Okay. All crises were averted today. I did not bite any one’s head of. I did not cause any problems with anyone (that I know of anyway.) And I made it home safely from class. Tomorrow is Wednesday, and since I have Friday off I am halfway through my week. As mom said earlier today, “Come on Friday!”
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
