Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween!?!
I was the only one dressed up on the bus this morning. So far I am the only one in costume on my floor…this is looking a little grim…
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Some people don’t live in reality
I’m cold. It’s a cold morning in Seattle. Br. To combat the chill, I went to the kitchen for some tea. Yummy Chai tea. I walked into the middle of a conversation between 3 guys. They were discussing computer problems. One guy was saying that his computer was slowly purging all of his data. Um, okay. Then they started talking about retrieval and how the information never really goes away. Okay. Then one guy says, “wouldn’t you love to be in IT working on machines that come back in? I bet those guys just love looking at all the stuff that comes in.”
And that’s when it hit me. These guys were no longer living in reality. They think there is an office of guys who sit around and, when you bring in your old machine, actually have time to surf through your old hard drive to see what you were up to. Ha!
It was a good laugh.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Where or where are thou, motivation?
I spent all morning working on a fire drill created by my former boss. Now I am sitting at my desk, full from lunch, and wanting nothing more than to slip into a sweet, sweet food coma. Ah, food coma.
Instead I find myself looking at the pile of work to do and sighing…I’d better get to it.
I realized that there are only 18 days left until my birthday. 18 days people! We don’t have anything planned (Yet, though I may have something in the works…) Not that I need something exciting to mark the day, but it’s nice to have company.
Classes are going well. Extremely well. Totally fantastically well. So well, in fact, that I am happy to go every week. I love the writing class; it makes me feel so…wonderful.
Yeah for me!
Now back to work!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Note to self:
When researching how your company may deal with an employee death due to possible negligence, make sure the people you are talking to understand that you are searching hypothetically. None one has actually died...yet…
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Hard Work
Things are a little more difficult than I had expected them to be. I hadn’t planned on the writing class being as hard as it is. Or that it would make me so crazed and emotional. I find myself worrying about what is going to happen and lashing out at people. When I started the class, I didn’t have any ideas. All I had was a character who hated her shoes. Now, by the second class, I feel as though I might have an actual story on my hands. Which scares me and thrills me at the same time. A story. And it just might work.
The details haven’t come to me yet, but I have three if not four scenes to work with so far. Like I said, it is incredibly exciting for me. But at the same time totally frustrating. I would rather write, I would rather think about and contemplate the life of my character than live my own. Okay, that isn’t totally true; there are many parts of my life that I love. I think it’s just work.
I would rather write than work.
Argh.
So, then, there’s a problem. Because work has caught up with me. We’ve gone into an uphill swing again where I am busy most of the time. And busy doing lots of things I would rather not be doing. Mostly because I would rather be writing. I have become the “go-to” person on my team. People are fighting over me as a resource. Everyone wants a piece of me. And I have lost my ambition. I don’t really care. I want them to be successful, I like the majority of my co-workers, but I don’t want to be responsible for their stuff anymore. Hm, not sure that makes sense.
I guess I just don’t want to work that hard. I’d rather work hard on my characters, at living in my imagination, rather than attempting to live in the corporate world. It just seems so fruitless. Everyday I go to a windowless cube under fluorescent lights and attend countless meetings. I write up reports, which have more pictures than actual content because that is what the “executives” want to see. I write emails, I answer emails, I make calls, I answer calls, and I run around, for what? Nothing tangible comes out of what I do.
Perhaps that is what is bothering me. The lack of tangibility in what I do.
Digressing again. Due to my hectic schedule and work picking up I haven’t had as much energy to blog as I normally do. I find that when I am not in class or working on my homework that I simply want to sit in front of the television and, well, sit. Not think, not do, just sit and veg for it.
Of course I’ve just made it through week 2 of having class 3 nights a week. 1 writing class, 2 belly dance classes. I figure things will get better as I get used to being out and doing more.
Let’s just consider this a transition period.
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
