Thursday, May 12, 2005
Dear Mom:
You Rock. So does your taste in purses. I love the new purse. It’s the perfect “girl” purse I have always secretly wanted to own and have always been afraid to buy.
The new purse you gave me has also made me super popular.
Especially with random women on elevators and on the street.
In fact, you may rock a little too much as one of the women followed me all the way to my floor this morning, questioning me intently on where the purse came from, how much was paid for it and so on. Apparently she did not appreciate the answer “My mom got it for me” as she continued to question me. It was a little scary. Fortunately I escaped through a locked door. Thank goodness for locked doors.
So, um, thanks for the purse. And, do you know if blood comes out of that type of fabric? It might be useful information in the future… 
**************
The other day I was walking down the street when a seemingly normal man stopped in front of a couple of payphones to compliment them on their hard work and tell them to keep it up. He then patted the phones affectionately and continued on his way.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Let’s have a PARADE!
The Fremont Parade is in 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!
We started parade classes again tonight. I am so vamped up, so excited I want to run around the block screaming. I couldn’t stop smiling all through class. I had forgotten how much I loved it, and this year I love it even more because I am no longer a newbie.
This year I am a veteran! WhooHoo! I am so EXCITED!
Here comes the parade!
If you live in the Seattle area (any where within 4 hours) and have never been I HIGHLY recommend you go. You will never, ever, I mean EVER, see anything like it on earth. Don’t believe me? Check out some photos from last year!
You gotta love Fremont!
My New Favorite Word
Deliverable.
Yep – deliverable is my new favorite word. You know why? Because when someone wants a piece of my time I say, “I’m sorry, I would love to be able to help you, but I have a deliverable due this afternoon and I simply don’t have the time.”
Deliverable.
It sounds so official. So meaningful. So important.
When I say it, people automatically think I am referring to the board report I am working on. Don’t bother Elizabeth, she has a deliverable.
Mostly I am using this tactic on my old boss, who is wanting more and more from me now that he has hired the inept interloper. That is what I have decided to call her. She’s “protected” by the powers that be so she keeps getting hired all over the company. No one really wants her, but how to you say no to your boss? Apparently good judgment isn’t something that is required here.
So, since the inept interloper (I even like typing it, makes me feel a giddy sense of satisfaction) started my old boss has asked me to teach her, not just everything I DO, but everything I KNOW. Those who know me realize this is a great affront to my sensibilities. Why, oh please tell me, why should I teach this woman, who is inept and an interloper, everything I KNOW? Come on! That would be like asking the Dali Lama to bestow all of his knowledge to Brittney Spears! Knowledge is earned, its something you pick up on, I have spent years learning what I know, I am not about to “give” it away to this woman. (Who, mind you, has been with the company for a few years and should already have a lot of the knowledge I have gleaned.) So, to get out of giving away my precious knowledge, I have become too busy. I now have pending deliverables that I MUST work on. I simply don’t have the time.
Besides, isn’t it his job to tell her what he wants? We didn’t exactly meet eye to eye on things, and now he has the chance to tell the inept interloper how to do everything exactly as he wants it. I doubt she would ever question him…
So, yesterday’s training was a treat. A treat beyond belief. After spending two hours with her on Monday, going over everything that needed to be completed and leaving her with various tasks, I hurried off to rounds of meetings and my own work to do.
Yeah. When I got back to her yesterday I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every month I create a Power Point presentation. It’s got several pieces and runs about 20 pages long. This portfolio all goes in the meeting packet together. I put it all into one presentation so it’s easier to print. That’s the only reason I do it. Printing and collating is easier. I showed up at her desk to find she was printing each page separately. EACH PAGE SEPERATELY. I am serious. So instead of 25 copies of a 20 page document, she had 25 copies of each page. She was then going to collate them all together. I wanted to bang my head on the desk. I think she thought I would help her put it all together, but she is so slow in learning everything that I didn’t have time. I really had to check on my real job, the one I am getting paid for, after spending 2 more hours walking her through other stuff and checking her work.
I am sure she made at least an hour of extra work for herself.
I want to feel bad for her, but I can’t. She’s proven to me over and over that she just doesn’t want to think. She wants to be told what to do and then watched as she does it. That will be her manager’s job. Not mine.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Stuff
Drunk Emailing…
Apparently, after having one too many beers last night (that would be 2 beers total) I participated in something I would like to call “Drunk E-mailing.”
For some unknown reason, after I got home, instead of drinking water and watching some good television, or popping in Sex in the City, I thought it would be a good idea to sit at my computer for awhile. I had been working on converting all of my WMA files to MP3s, but loaded some new software that now makes it relatively impossible to know which is which…perhaps that is a different story…so working on my files was not an option. That would have involved more thought than I was capable of at that moment.
I turned to surfing the net. I visited my favorite blogs to catch up on what I had been missing; I’ve been busy at work and tired at home so I haven’t been keeping up. After reading a bit I decided to check my email. What a mistake.
I haven’t figured out how to hook my email up to my outlook yet, I know it’s possible, but after working at it for awhile I got bored and gave up. Due to this, I have no idea who I emailed or what I sent. But I know I was busy, because I didn’t go to bed early last night.
I also wrote my blog while intoxicated, I was happy to see it wasn’t completely incoherent.
Wonder Kitty
Cleo is a cat. Cats are weird. Therefore Cleo is weird.
She doesn’t like regular tap water. She prefers filtered water. Except for when I water the plants, then she drinks the spill over water in the catch under the pots. Go figure…
Monday, May 09, 2005
Could I be?
Could I be the best daughter in the world? You know, I think I might be in the running! At least as far as knowing my mother and knowing what she would like best on Mother’s day.
I got us reservations at a private garden South of Tacoma. Lakewold Gardens. We had been there last year on a tour, and though it wasn’t mom’s favorite, it was a beautiful place to be, to rest, to explore. What better place to take mom for Mother’s day brunch?
Brunch was yummy, they had all kinds of treats, including some mango shrimp that mom had two servings of.
After brunch we explored the gardens. We walked some of the paths and smelled the wonderful flowers in bloom. The last time we had been the flowers weren’t as vibrant, as full as they were this year. It was, well, perfect!
Then we went home, changed clothes and went shopping! But not just any shopping, no, for my mother on her special day, we went Nursery Shopping! We bought flowers and flowers and a few tomato plants (one just for me.) Then we went shopping for pots and potting soil.
While picking up the potting soil mom told me she would like to get a curtain or two for her outdoor patio. I asked if she wanted to keep shopping or go home and dig in the dirt. I knew the answer without her saying, it was time to go home and dig.
Usually I duck out when it is time to dig, I am not one who really enjoys getting my hands dirty and slugs… ewe! But this was Mother’s day, so I helped her dig up her tulips and plant her geraniums. We planted some tomatoes and a rose bush. I even threw a slug (it was gross even though I was wearing gloves, ewe!)
All in all I think I gave mom exactly what she wanted for Mother’s day. Time with her daughter, a good meal and gardening.
I think that puts me in the running for best daughter ever…
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
