Monday, January 26, 2004
Monday…
Monday...First off I have to say thanks to everyone who has sent notes about my kitty. Not everyone had a chance to meet her, but all of you know how much I loved having her around. And I appreciate all the kind words and condolences.
I'm doing better today. But then I am not in my apartment where it is so quiet... I figure it will just take time, and books, and TV and the stereo and any other thing I can use to distract me from the fact that she isn't there. :(
Otherwise, things are really good. Freeman has been ultra nice about all of this and very VERY helpful. There is no way I would have been able to deal with this on my own. He and my mother have been vital to my mental stability. They both provide excellent distractions on a regular basis.
As to the question of another kitty... Not any time soon. With all the changes coming up my life, I can't see adding another life to take care of. I was willing to do what it took to keep Frankley with me, but with the moving around, I can't get another one yet. Maybe in 6 months. Maybe in a year. I have to wait and see where I end up. I have a feeling the next 6 months will bring major changes in my life. And not just the ones I am expecting...
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Ouch.
Ouch.I had to put Frankley to sleep yesterday.
I can honestly say that it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
She was my only companion for so long... I always felt like we were two peas in the same pod, meant to be together.
I don't know if you are supposed to feel that way about your cat, but I did. And I miss her terribly.
The apartment feels so empty. And it breaks my heart every time I open the door and she isn't waiting there to greet me. I don't think I had realized how much of an impact she made on my life. But now I really know this place is to big. I feel lost here. Maybe I just feel lost in general.
I don't understand why I had to lose her.
Life sucks.
I wish I could be more positive, but at this moment I really can't. At this moment I just hurt. And I miss her.
Monday, January 19, 2004
Monday - some people call it a Holiday.
Monday - some people call it a Holiday.But not me.
I'm at work. There are lots of people here today, though not a full crowd which is nice. But the people who are here are being a little loud, only because it is so quiet.
I'm annoyed. I was expecting feedback on something and never got it. I was supposed to have it Friday before I left and never got it. What I am working on will go into user testing tomorrow, and it isn't finalized. I don't have buy off from any of the important people I need buy off from. What kind of crap is this?
I know what kind of crap it is. It is called "Training" I am on the "Training" team, the one thing that everyone is ignoring in hopes that it may just disappear forever... And it happens to be one of the most important things to do for this project. Because without training, no one can do what they are supposed to do.
Anyway - I do have work to do. I have budget stuff to update and other deliverables to check on. I just wish I could put this one part down and not pick it back up! I am also hoping that they don't demand changes and expect us to be able to turn them around before training begins tomorrow morning! (they will because they are all smoking crack. And we will try to get them in and updated because we are all smoking crack too...)
Back to work...
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Saturday.
Saturday.It is almost 3 pm in the afternoon and I can honestly say that the most strenuous thing I have done today has been to make Mac & cheese. I spent the morning on the couch, watching TV and Blow. Finally I can say I have seen Blow. It was good, kind of sad, the ending was as expected, even though I found myself secretly wishing that it wouldn't. Oh well. I guess it is a good reflection on real life.
So - this morning as we were flipping through the channels, there was this horrible breaking news about this kid who stole a car. He had driven onto an overpass when the cops stopped him. What is really freaky though, he got out of his car, ran to the edge of the overpass and fuckin JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE! Who the hell does that? Did he think he was in a movie or something? And the people on the highway below... What do you do when a body FALLS out of the sky and hits your car? According to the early reports 4 people ran over the guy after he hit the ground. Freaky. I just wonder, what was the guy thinking? What drugs was he cooked up on to make him think of doing that??? And what are the guys who were in on the job thinking now? I don't suppose any of them will wake up and change their lives or anything... But Shit. He jumped off a bridge!
We're going to Portland tonight. I am looking forward to it. It should be a lot of fun. Evan is fun to hang out with and always entertaining. Plus Portland is just a fun city to hang out in.
Friday, January 16, 2004
Ah Friday.
Ah Friday.The week was long. The weekend will be longer. I have so much to do that I can't even start to think about it because I will suddenly start feeling my head expanding and I fear that it will explode.
I was hoping not to have to work on Monday. It is a holiday after all. But that really doesn't seem to be the case. The fates have stacked the cards against me and it looks like I will be coming in for at least 1/2 day. A full day if I don't find some time before that to get other work done.
And on top of all of this, I have to find time to start packing and moving my stuff. I am thinking at least one trip to my mom's will be good enough. At least for this weekend. But there is the prep to be done. And I don't think that she has started cleaning out the back room where I will be staying. Again. I really hate the thought of moving back in with mom. I hate the thought of losing my freedom even for as little as two months. And I really don't like to talk to my mom first thing in the morning. There is just something about it that drives me crazy. Oh well. I guess I will get over it.
Currently I am waiting for one person to come back to her desk so I can get feedback on something I am creating. Really I just need the information so I can pack it away with the laptop that has become mine and take it home to work on sometime. If I get it done on Saturday or Sunday, I only have to come in for 1/2 a day. If I don't, I will be here much longer. I think I can get it done though. The more I work on it, the quicker these little edits go. So, if she would just get back to her desk...
On Saturday I was driving to Seattle to get my hair done
On the way there I saw a police car with someone pulled over. The funny thing was - the car was a little wanna be race car, with "Speed Racer" printed on the side in big bold white letters. The car itself was black. It also had a cool spoiler and racing stripes over the top. I thought, why in the world would you speed in a car that clearly states "Speed Racer"? Is it just me? You think the driver would have known better. At least get a radar detector. I mean really... So - on comes the weekend. If only this person would come back to their desk with the info I need....
As you wake in the morning
What do you feel?
Does a rush of happiness
wash over you when,
Suddenly, you realize you are alive?
